In the grand scheme of things, I don't have a great sense of tact and diplomacy, and unintentionally I offend people by saying the wrong thing, because I've not thought through how what I say might be heard. Most of the time it is not meant to offend, but I usually do end up apologising.
Over the years, I've heard some great one liners, and retorts, that should be captured for posterity. Again names removed to protect the guilty.
I heard a story about a woman who at a night club in Cardiff, pulled someone significantly younger than herself. Not wanting to seem 'too old', she told him that she was 6 years younger than she really was. (40 is a difficult age for a woman - 30 something not so much so.). The following morning she drove him to his home in Merthyr Tydfil. The journey took them past the memorial of the children killed in the Aberfan disaster. (For younger readers, this was when, after several days of heavy rain, a coal slag heap became unstable and slipped down onto a school. Over 100 children were killed that day. A whole generation lost due to the poor management decisions at British Coal.) The young man in question noted the significance to his previous nights bedfellow. 'Ah Yes,' she replied, 'I remember Blue Peter covering it and our school teachers getting us to write a letter of condolence.'
The other story also has involved a liason without trousers. Someone I know pulled a young man 30 years younger than herself. On staying in a hotel, overnight, her friends went to meet her the next morning. 'Don't worry about breakfast, there's a McDonalds by the Hotel', I said. Quick reply was ' Oh yes, she can have an Egg McMuffin and he can have a Happy Meal'.
Discussing a woman who had a 'face for radio', and was miserable with it, a crime on tour, even in the grim surrounds of a Balckpool B and B, a mate described her as 'being hit by the ugly tree and hitting every branch on the way down'.
Even G gets in on the act. Watching the Lions in 1997, at the tender age of 7, the panel on the television were discussing how good Neil Jenkins the Welsh Fly Half who unfortunately was balding, ginger and had sticky out ears. 'Aah he said, 'a face only his mother could love.'
A short blog today, but stories that make me smile. 'Ooops I did it again' was by , Britney Spears I think. A woman with a car crash of a life.