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Sunday, May 22, 2011

20th May - You don't bring me flowers

Driving down to Cardiff on the M5/4, I had to have my usual 'wee break' at Strensham services. I can see the logic of grabbing a coffee, something to read if on a coach, even pay for the over-priced stale muffin, but I still wonder at who wanders into a service station and thinks 'Oh look, a folding chair with an England flag on, I've been looking everywhere for one of those, how opportune.'
By the same token, who sits at home thinking, 'I could do with some leisure wear, let's have a drive to Cotton Traders at Strensham services. We can have lunch there, the Burger King is so tasty, (what a shame there isn't a Greggs), and with a bit of luck we can change our telephone provider at the same time. Then on the way back, we can get stuck behind the accident going north somewhere around Worcester, (on a good day, the M42 most other days).
The Marks and Waitrose I really love. I know that they are expensive, but if you've been away for the weekend, and know that there is nothing in the fridge, you can get a loaf, and 'something nice for tea'. Before that, you went to the fridge, hoping that you wouldn't have to scrape the mould off the cheese, and hope that the bread had normal levels of penicillin. Now what would be really useful , would be a shop selling spare knickers, replacement tights, a toothbrush and a cheap Pac-a Mac, as I've left my cagoule hanging on the kitchen door at home, and it always rains at full time in Wales.
Another thing I wonder about is who buys flowers from a garage. I don't know why they don't have a sign on stating'Guaranteed to last until you've paid for them.' If they were a sick pet, they'd be at the Vet's, as you increase the price of the petrol, by putting the wilting flowers to the Snickers for sharing, barbeque bricquettes, and a pine car freshener. The thing hat really winds me up though, is the small car driver. The Mini, Corsa, Fiesta, 500, it doesn't seem to matter, that queues to put petrol in their car, and must have the petrol cap on the same side as the pump. Nine times out of ten this will cause a queue, blocking me and the transit driver, from using the three empty pumps. Guess what little car driver, if the petrol pump stretches round the back of that big transit van, it can even stretch, around a car half the width, and we wouldn't have to queue, leaving the engine idling causing global warming.
Back to the flowers, apart from the poor old lady at the old folks home, who is grateful for any visit, and an acknowledgement that she's still alive, who else would be thrilled by them. Mind you, the briquettes always come in handy. It's been sunny all week, lets have a BBQ at the weekend. It never rains on Saturday does it?

The other wonder I have is why do Welsh service stations toilets smell worse than English ones? Just what is in that Brains bitter and Lava bread? The ammonia could strip the paint off the Severn Bridge.

'You don't bring me Flowers' - I think this was by Barbra Big Nose Streisand and Neil 'Combover' Diamond. Damned awful song, damned awful garage flowers.

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